i thought i was doing better without her but she is always in the back of my mind
been trying to get rid of the thought of her
but i still love her and such
always will
anyways last night i had a dream that i was running errands for a bunch of people and i accidently called her and she actually answered since she has been giving me the silent treatment i havent talked to her and it hurts me so much, but yea she answered and even in my dream i was so excited to talk to her
i woke up, got depressed because i know that the only way she will talk to me is in a dream sadly
btw ladies
never do the fucking silent treatment
its the worst thing ever if they still care about you alot
but yea whenever i think of her there is a pang of regret and remorse for me driving her away, its been over a week since she left me but that seems like forever because she wont speak to me, silence hurts more than most of the words she could say
i still have faith me and her will get back together, alot of hope actually, kinda afraid that if we dont then i will be crushed
i mean im already going to therapy now and on antidepressants so whats after that, an asylum? death maybe
to be honest ive been hoping for death in any way it will come
dont want to live without her
but she can live without me fairly easily or so it seems atleast, i miss her so much, ive been trying to stay upbeat but its getting harder and harder, death seems better than this shit im going through

thats all for now